STAY IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARANOID LOVER

No matter how much you love your significant other, worries and doubts will find their way to fill his/her mind. Even if you have a seemingly stable and loving relationship, anxieties and fears will still kick in from time to time. He/she can get paranoid even without a reason. This is very common when your partner had a tough relationship before or even because of unpleasant experiences.

It can get irritating but you have to understand that this is just normal when it comes to a relationship. But when paranoia has taken a strong hold, your partner will sometimes become irrational and unreasonable. Even if you try to be understanding of the situation, it can get on your nerves. This is when conflicts start to form and may lead to an unnecessary break-up.

Having a paranoid lover can be tough. Paranoia or anxiety can lead to misunderstandings and ruin your relationship. But if you truly love your partner, understanding is not enough. It takes time and a little adjustment to do the work.

Remember that a relationship is not always hugs and kisses or good times and laughter. It is not always happy. There will be a time that you’ll hit a boulder and keeping your relationship will be difficult. However, you can get through those not so happy moments together if you will only be supportive of each other.

And how are you going to handle it? 

Learn it from someone as myself who happens to have a paranoid personality.

You have to understand how difficult it is for your partner to be controlled by his/her own thoughts and emotions. You might not even notice it but he/she always tries to make up for it. With a fully understanding of his/her situation, you will be able to get to know your lover better and can work things out.

Say ‘I Love You’ every day. This might sound very simple to you but there’s more to it. Saying these words is as easy as counting one two three but these three words hold a great power. It can strengthen your connection and allow you to take the relationship to the next level. So never say it randomly. Say I love you because you want him/her to feel your love is real and not because you’re obliged to say it since you are together. And always remember to consider the right timing. Tell him/her ‘I love you’ at the right time or even when he/she is not expecting it and be sure to mean it. This will send a happy feeling of safety in your relationship.

Show understanding. Most of the times, your partner also feels guilty of doubting your intentions or feelings. Understand that it is hard not to be able to control your feelings and thoughts sometimes. When anxiety kicks in, worries become a part of his/her day and can’t help it. Negative thoughts start to float and linger in his/her mind. The mind will become  irrational and will be flooded with fear. It can really be irritating most of the times but he/she is as frustrated as you are with himself/herself. 

Showing understanding is very important since it provides a higher level of acceptance and acknowledgment that you exactly know what is going on. Sometimes he/she tries to mask what they feel but by trying to understand his/her situation, you are already showing compassion and lower your lover’s resistance to reasons. This will give you a chance to talk about it and provide assurance that you will always be there.

Having an anxiety or even a lower level of paranoia doesn’t just happen. There will always be a bucket of reasons why he/she feels that way. It can be because of unpleasant experiences, previous relationships that didn’t work out or even the feeling of rejection. Remember that he/she feels upset about the situation as well. Hold him/her against your chest and let them talk to you about what he/she is feeling and thinking. Let your over feel that you are always there to listen. Try to calm his/her mind by your words and always make sure that you mean what you say.

Prove your love. Telling your significant other you love him/her is one thing. But showing your partner you love him/her is a whole other thing. A simple kiss or a quick tight hug whenever you get to see each other is one. Hold his/her hands in public provides a higher level of security and your partner will surely feel safe about the standing of your relationship. Introduce your significant other to people in your life and show how proud you are. 

Also, learn to listen to your partner’s random burst of stories. It just means that they are comfortable with telling you things even if they’re not that important. Showing interest to what he/she is saying shows that you care.

Don’t give your partner any reasons to doubt your actions. Even the simplest burn his/her mind. Instead give your significant others a lot of reasons to believe and trust you.

Time. This is definitely one of the most important things that you can give to somebody. Giving your significant other a portion of your time is literally sharing a part of your life. This will help him/her realize and deeply understand how important he/she is to you. Being together will lower the risk of having to deal with worries and doubts.

Be Open. It means having an honest communication. Exchange stories of your daily activities and show real interest every time. And always be honest of what you say. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Better not hide things from your partner or even say even the simplest lie. This will cause him/her to doubt everything you say even if there’s a good reason why you hide things or lie. Just be who you are and be true your love. Tell him/her things that you’ve never told anyone and really trust that they’re going to keep it. This will also allow you to get to know each other better.

Talk about your dreams and the future. Share honest thoughts and opinions with each other and this will soften the boundary that your partner had created in fear of you hurting him. Verbally tell him/her that she belongs with you in the future and that you can’t imagine it without him/her by your side.

Surprises. It doesn’t really have to be big. A simple kiss or ‘I love you’ when your partner is not expecting it is already a surprise to him/her. This will make him/her feel special every time you do it. You can also have random dinner dates if both of you are free and the budget permits. Cook your partner’s favorite food sometimes or give something that he/she likes. Not all appreciate materials things so better understand that the most important thing about surprises is the thought.

Worries, fears, doubts and anxieties make your significant other paranoid about everything. Understand that your lover has no control of it even if your relationship is stable and great. It can turn him/her into an emotional wreck and can lower his/her self-esteem. 

You might not know it but there’s always a debate going on in his/her mind. It is painful, stressful and can be destructive so an effective communication is vital.

Just always show understanding of his/her situation. Tell your lover how much you love him/her and prove it through actions. Be open and honest as possible and always be supportive.

Remember that there are a lot of ways that you can do to strengthen the bond between the two of you and avoid conflicts. You don’t really have to search the internet. Just look into your heart and you’ll know the answer.

A loving relationship is one of the most important things that we can have and it is our choice to keep it.

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You might also want to read 5 Signs That Your Relationship Is Going To Last.