STAY IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARANOID LOVER


No matter how much you love your significant other, worries and doubts will find their way to fill his/her mind. Even if you have a seemingly stable and loving relationship, anxieties and fears will still kick in from time to time. He/she can get paranoid even without a reason. This is very common when your partner had a tough relationship before or even because of unpleasant experiences.

It can get irritating but you have to understand that this is just normal when it comes to a relationship. But when paranoia has taken a strong hold, your partner will sometimes become irrational and unreasonable. Even if you try to be understanding of the situation, it can get on your nerves. This is when conflicts start to form and may lead to an unnecessary break-up.



Having a paranoid lover can be tough. Paranoia or anxiety can lead to misunderstandings and ruin your relationship. But if you truly love your partner, understanding is not enough. It takes time and a little adjustment to do the work.

Remember that a relationship is not always hugs and kisses or good times and laughter. It is not always happy. There will be a time that you’ll hit a boulder and keeping your relationship will be difficult. However, you can get through those not so happy moments together if you will only be supportive of each other.

And how are you going to handle it? 

Learn it from someone as myself who happens to have a paranoid personality.

You have to understand how difficult it is for your partner to be controlled by his/her own thoughts and emotions. You might not even notice it but he/she always tries to make up for it. With a fully understanding of his/her situation, you will be able to get to know your lover better and can work things out.



Say ‘I Love You’ every day. This might sound very simple to you but there’s more to it. Saying these words is as easy as counting one two three but these three words hold a great power. It can strengthen your connection and allow you to take the relationship to the next level. So never say it randomly. Say I love you because you want him/her to feel your love is real and not because you’re obliged to say it since you are together. And always remember to consider the right timing. Tell him/her ‘I love you’ at the right time or even when he/she is not expecting it and be sure to mean it. This will send a happy feeling of safety in your relationship.



Show understanding. Most of the times, your partner also feels guilty of doubting your intentions or feelings. Understand that it is hard not to be able to control your feelings and thoughts sometimes. When anxiety kicks in, worries become a part of his/her day and can’t help it. Negative thoughts start to float and linger in his/her mind. The mind will become  irrational and will be flooded with fear. It can really be irritating most of the times but he/she is as frustrated as you are with himself/herself. 

Showing understanding is very important since it provides a higher level of acceptance and acknowledgment that you exactly know what is going on. Sometimes he/she tries to mask what they feel but by trying to understand his/her situation, you are already showing compassion and lower your lover’s resistance to reasons. This will give you a chance to talk about it and provide assurance that you will always be there.

Having an anxiety or even a lower level of paranoia doesn’t just happen. There will always be a bucket of reasons why he/she feels that way. It can be because of unpleasant experiences, previous relationships that didn’t work out or even the feeling of rejection. Remember that he/she feels upset about the situation as well. Hold him/her against your chest and let them talk to you about what he/she is feeling and thinking. Let your over feel that you are always there to listen. Try to calm his/her mind by your words and always make sure that you mean what you say.



Prove your love. Telling your significant other you love him/her is one thing. But showing your partner you love him/her is a whole other thing. A simple kiss or a quick tight hug whenever you get to see each other is one. Hold his/her hands in public provides a higher level of security and your partner will surely feel safe about the standing of your relationship. Introduce your significant other to people in your life and show how proud you are. 

Also, learn to listen to your partner’s random burst of stories. It just means that they are comfortable with telling you things even if they’re not that important. Showing interest to what he/she is saying shows that you care.

Don’t give your partner any reasons to doubt your actions. Even the simplest burn his/her mind. Instead give your significant others a lot of reasons to believe and trust you.



Time. This is definitely one of the most important things that you can give to somebody. Giving your significant other a portion of your time is literally sharing a part of your life. This will help him/her realize and deeply understand how important he/she is to you. Being together will lower the risk of having to deal with worries and doubts.



Be Open. It means having an honest communication. Exchange stories of your daily activities and show real interest every time. And always be honest of what you say. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Better not hide things from your partner or even say even the simplest lie. This will cause him/her to doubt everything you say even if there’s a good reason why you hide things or lie. Just be who you are and be true your love. Tell him/her things that you’ve never told anyone and really trust that they’re going to keep it. This will also allow you to get to know each other better.

Talk about your dreams and the future. Share honest thoughts and opinions with each other and this will soften the boundary that your partner had created in fear of you hurting him. Verbally tell him/her that she belongs with you in the future and that you can’t imagine it without him/her by your side.



Surprises. It doesn’t really have to be big. A simple kiss or ‘I love you’ when your partner is not expecting it is already a surprise to him/her. This will make him/her feel special every time you do it. You can also have random dinner dates if both of you are free and the budget permits. Cook your partner’s favorite food sometimes or give something that he/she likes. Not all appreciate materials things so better understand that the most important thing about surprises is the thought.



Worries, fears, doubts and anxieties make your significant other paranoid about everything. Understand that your lover has no control of it even if your relationship is stable and great. It can turn him/her into an emotional wreck and can lower his/her self-esteem. 

You might not know it but there’s always a debate going on in his/her mind. It is painful, stressful and can be destructive so an effective communication is vital.



Just always show understanding of his/her situation. Tell your lover how much you love him/her and prove it through actions. Be open and honest as possible and always be supportive.



Remember that there are a lot of ways that you can do to strengthen the bond between the two of you and avoid conflicts. You don’t really have to search the internet. Just look into your heart and you’ll know the answer.

A loving relationship is one of the most important things that we can have and it is our choice to keep it.

-

You might also want to read 5 Signs That Your Relationship Is Going To Last.


30 comments:

  1. Well written piece. I suppose everyone just wants to know that they are loved and needed. Ever thought of being a counsellor?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment Jo, I greatly appreciate it.

      Delete
  2. If there is a thing that is listed in here that will definitely make an impact, it would be to show understanding as to why they are like that and be more open minded when you are together or just simply talking to each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Understanding is really important when it comes to a relationship. Always understand your partner's outburst or silence to avoid unnecessary arguments.

      Delete
  3. Well written. Saying "I love you" is very important. You need to make the person aware not just by actions. Agree on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's correct. Saying "I love You" verbally is as important as proving it through actions.

      Delete
  4. I think your tips are very good. Not only in the case of a partner with anxiety. But in general for couples. Keep appreciating each other. Don't take anything for granted. And show each other appreciation. Loved to read this. Great quotes also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for having the time to visit and read my post. Appreciating each other efforts is really important as well in a relationship.

      Delete
  5. This is a great post with really useful info. It can be so hard to have paranoia and sometimes even harder to be in a relationship with someone who has. Good job on the post! Ree love30

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really appreciate the comment. It is really hard when paranoia is at its peak so with better understanding of the things you need to do while in this kind of a relationship, it will make it easier for you to adjust and work it out.

      Delete
  6. Hey there, nice tips and well written post. I loved the last para which says You dont' have to search net..
    thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true, if you really love the person, just look in your heart and you'll find your answer.

      Delete
  7. Do you think it's possible to keep the relationship with a paranoid going on, if one of the two is abroad studying for a while?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It will be a little harder when you're together but yes it's possible to keep the relationship going on. Sometimes being apart makes the relationship stronger. Who know? But with an honest and open communication, you will still be able to comfort each others to prevent anxiety or paranoia to take over your relationship. It's all about commitment and true to your words.

      Delete
  8. It is normal to have a paranoid partner but sometimes that person must learn to adjust as well and not only you who does all the efforts to make things work. Anyway, great tips for those who are not married yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right. Proper setting expectations is also necessary.

      Delete
  9. Well, great written post. I myself am on both sides of this spectrum. Not carrying or carrying to much. I am pretty free in a relationship, I don't get jealous if my partner looks around for appealing to the eye girls. Heck, I even join him on that. But then, something small and illogical happens, and I will be paranoid out of my mind that he is cheating or something like that. I guess that's just how my mind works and finds slightest changes. But I guess it is still good, since my paranoia at the most recent event sadly turned out to be right.
    Tina von S | http://lifestylerookie.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right. Sometimes our mind just do that.

      Delete
  10. I'm in a new relationship and it's been a while since my last one. My partner is older than me so he has more experience in terms of relationships. Anyway, this post reminded me of that one time when I started overthinking stuff (about something we talked about earlier that week) and I asked that we talk in person. He got a little mad at me because I didn't want to talk about it over the phone. But he showed up. When I told him what was bothering me, he assured me naman. Honestly, even if you can feel it, there are times that you need to hear it din. I'm just glad that those elements you have mentioned are present in our relationship. Keep the faith.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. Even if you know he wont do it, it still feel better when you hear it from him. But sometimes our mind is a little out of control that we doubt even the slightest change of his actions.

      Delete
  11. This was and interesting read. Is your lover paranoid? I do not think so. It's always easy to blame others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The truth is I am that paranoid lover. Haha.

      Delete
  12. That was an interesting read, I so should show this to my husband and he would confirm that i'm so much this.

    www.annanuttall.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha. At least he would know what to do then :)

      Delete
  13. Great post, I love the part about time, it is really nowadays the most precious gift one can give.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time is really essential in a relationship. It speaks priority.

      Delete
  14. This would be a great help for my partner to give him an idea on how to handle me. LOL. THANKS 😊

    ReplyDelete
  15. This would be a great help for my partner to give him an idea on how to handle me. LOL. THANKS 😊

    ReplyDelete

Powered by Blogger.